A Year Without You

How did one whole year just slip away,

when every moment without you feels like yesterday?

How could you leave so suddenly, nunnamma,

when your presence was the thread that held us together?

I still cannot believe you are not here, nunnamma.

Your thoughts, your voice, your smile,

they keep coming back to me every single day.

This house does not feel the same anymore.

Every corner reminds me of you.

Me, Amma, Appa  and everyone around keep talking about you and how rare of a person you were,

but no matter how much we do, the pain does not go , we just miss you even more.

We miss your tantrums so much — unexplainably so.

We scolded you for them when you were here,

but now all we wish is to hear your voice once more,

to see you talk and do those little tantrums again.

I feel like crying endlessly,

but I just hold it inside my heart.

It hurts so much that you are not here with us.

One year feels like a lifetime,

and at the same time it feels like just yesterday.

You were the love and warmth in this house.

Without you, something is missing forever.

I know you are gone,

but I also know you live with us in memories,

in the love you gave,

in the way you cared for us.

And nunnamma, I need you to know this —

if life gives me a choice again and again,

I would choose you to be my grandmother,

over and over, every single time.

Nunnamma, you are still with us,

just in a different way now.

We love you, we miss you so much,

and we will carry you in our hearts always.